Oh Nia

I miss you. I keep thinking I see you. I look but it’s not you. It’s my flip flop or Rhian’s jacket. I wish it was you. I wish I knew you were suffering. I hate that you were in pain. I wish I could have helped more.  You were so sweet in your own way. You were sassy too but I always loved that about you. My heart is broken over you being gone. I cried today when putting up Christmas ornatments because we have the two cat ones for the tree. We also have the little reindeer that I always said was “Reindeer Nia” with it’s short tail. Oh Namy. You were just a cat but I always loved your company. You were frisky as a kitten. You knocked over a trashcan and dragged an umbrella upstairs. It was open, mind you. You loved Chinese food. You loved me. You were ugly sometimes with your dandruff but oh so cute. It’s hard to believe you are gone after only 11 years. I thought you would have been here longer. Oh Nia. I remember when we got you and lived in the apartment and you used to make chirping noises at Mr. Robin, the bird. I remember you swatting at my headphone cords. You would always sit by the backdoor while I was outside and watch me. My heart is broken over you little one. I miss you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t give  you enough attention as you were in pain these last couple of weeks. I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I’m thankful I was there with you for your last breath. It was peaceful. You were ready. I believe you were ready. You seemed at peace with our decision. I’d like to think that. I don’t know. I will never forget you hiding in the bathroom when Gina and I first brought you home and I won’t forget your last breath in my arms. You were just a cat but I loved you so. I miss you girl.

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